For the expectant Mother, in this section you will find witty, funny, and full of relatable laughs for anyone waddling through cravings, mood swings, and unsolicited belly touches.
🤰 Pregnancy Logic & Emotional Plot Twists
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Pregnancy brain is real. I just put my phone in the fridge and my toast in my purse.
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I cried because my sock was inside out. Then I cried because I cried.
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“I’m fine” means “I’m hormonal, hungry, and slightly offended by the wind.”
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I asked my partner to bring me pickles. They brought the wrong kind. We’re now in counseling.
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I’m growing a human and still expected to remember passwords.
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I sneezed and pulled a muscle I didn’t know existed.
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My mood swings have mood swings.
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I’m nesting. Which means I reorganized the spice rack and cried about paprika.
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I told someone I was pregnant and they asked, “Was it planned?” So was my exit from that conversation.
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I’m not glowing. I’m sweating, swollen, and slightly sparkly from crumbs.
🍟 Cravings, Snacks & Culinary Chaos
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I craved pickles, ice cream, and justice.
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I ate a whole pizza and called it “fuel for the baby.”
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I cried because the grocery store was out of mangoes.
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I wanted chocolate. Then I wanted chips. Then I wanted both. Together.
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I asked for fries. I got wedges. I considered divorce.
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My cravings are so specific, I need a food stylist and a mood board.
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I ate six snacks and still felt “snackish.”
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I rejected a sandwich because it looked judgmental.
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I ordered three desserts “just in case.”
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I’m not eating for two. I’m snacking for a small village.
🛏️ Body Changes & Sleep Drama
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I used to sleep like a baby. Now I sleep like a baby who’s also pregnant.
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Rolling over in bed is now a full-body workout.
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I dropped something. It’s gone forever.
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I wake up every hour—to pee, stretch, cry, or Google “weird pregnancy symptoms.”
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My ankles are missing. If found, please return.
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I sneezed and needed a nap.
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I bought a pregnancy pillow. It now has its own zip code.
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I’m 80% water, 10% hormones, and 10% snacks.
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I tried to shave my legs. It was an Olympic event.
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I’m not tired—I’m “pregnant tired,” which is a whole new species of exhaustion.
💛 Heartfelt Humor & Baby Prep Madness
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I folded baby clothes and cried because they’re so small and I’m so large.
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I built a crib, organized diapers, and cried over a onesie with ducks.
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I made a birth plan. The baby laughed.
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I packed my hospital bag. It contains snacks, socks, and denial.
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I practiced breathing techniques. Then I practiced yelling.
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I watched a parenting video and immediately needed a nap.
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I’m preparing for labor by binge-watching shows and eating carbs.
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I bought baby wipes, pacifiers, and a tiny hat. I feel powerful.
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I’m growing a human. I deserve a parade.
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I’m scared, excited, overwhelmed, and deeply in love—with someone I haven’t met yet.
🤰What I Wish I Knew: 40 Reflections for Early Pregnancy
Because no one warned me about crying over toast or Googling “is this normal” 47 times a day
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Exhaustion in the first trimester isn’t laziness—it’s your body building a human from scratch.
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Morning sickness doesn’t care what time it is.
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Bloating is real, and no, it’s not the baby yet—it’s the burrito.
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Prenatal vitamins are horse pills and that chewing them is… not recommended.
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“Pregnancy glow” sometimes just means “sweaty and slightly panicked.”
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Crying over commercials is a rite of passage.
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Early pregnancy is a masterclass in Googling symptoms and then Googling the opposite symptoms.
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Rest isn’t optional—it’s sacred. Nap like it’s your job.
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My body would feel like a science experiment I wasn’t invited to explain.
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It’s okay to feel excited and terrified at the same time.
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My sense of smell would become a superpower—and a curse.
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Food aversions are real and sometimes include your favorite snack.
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“I’m pregnant” doesn’t mean people stop giving unsolicited advice.
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My pants would betray me before the pregnancy test did.
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Early pregnancy can feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by love.
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Every emotion would arrive with a megaphone and glitter.
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It’s okay to not tell everyone right away.
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My brain would temporarily forget how to form complete sentences.
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“Due date” is more like “vague suggestion.”
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My body would start changing before I felt ready.
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The phrase “just relax” should be banned from all conversations.
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Early pregnancy can feel like PMS with a plot twist.
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My partner might not get it—and that’s okay.
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I’d start nesting before I even had a bump.
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My dreams would become wild, cinematic, and occasionally terrifying.
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I’d feel protective of a tiny dot on an ultrasound.
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My body is doing something miraculous, even when I feel like a confused sea slug.
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It’s okay to ask for help—even if it’s just to reach the remote.
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Early pregnancy is a rollercoaster with no seatbelt and lots of snacks.
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I’d start talking to my belly way before it could hear me.
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“Normal” is a wide, wobbly spectrum.
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My heart would grow faster than my belly.
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I’d feel like a superhero and a puddle at the same time.
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My body knows what it’s doing—even when I don’t.
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It’s okay to grieve your old life while loving your new one.
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The first trimester is basically a secret endurance test.
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My cravings would make no culinary sense.
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“Pregnancy brain” is real and mildly hilarious.
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I’d start imagining tiny socks and tiny futures.
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I’m already enough—just as I am.
